Guilt

When the day ends and the moon rises, what do you think of? What do you remember? Does guilt wash over you and hold your heart captive so you can’t even breathe? 

All you wish for, all you want is freedom. Freedom from the lies, from the pain, from the guilt. 

There’s a voice in your head screaming that it’s not your fault, not your problem, but who do you believe? Your head or your heart? 

Is it hard to sleep, to eat, to live? Everyday passes slowly. It feels like the world stopped long enough to remind you of your choices. 

Do you wonder where the guilt comes from? Is it something you did or something THEY said? Why Do you feel guilty for something  you didn’t choose and you can’t fix? 

Do they blame You? Do you blame You? Could it really be so bad you can’t let go? Have you tried to let go? 

Do they hate You? Do you hate You? Do you hate yourself because you can’t be perfect? 

Do you lie to yourself, saying that it isn’t your fault? Is that a lie? Do you even remember the truth anymore? 

Do you remember who you are? Do you want to remember who you are? 

Did you change? Did the lies become your reality? Did the guilt replace your soul, your hatred darken your heart? 

Do you change because of them? Did you do it because of You? 

Do you wonder where the old you went? Would she like who you are now? Would she want to be just like You? 

I wonder where you are. I wonder if you’ll  come back, I hope you’ll come back. 

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Friendship struggles

Recently I have been thinking a lot about how valuable my friendships are. I have been spending a lot of time with the friends I’ve had since kindergarten and let’s just say that things have gotten complicated. We’ve all been doing our best to keep the drama low key, because I mean nobody likes drama.

I love my friends and there’s no point in throwing away a life-long friendship over a small misunderstanding. But here’s a tip for all of you, don’t accuse any of your friends of anything no matter what another friend says until you have figured out the whole story.

There’s no point in holding grudges, no point on requiring others to be rude to another friend because they’re mad at them, and no point in making things over dramatic. Friends are precious and sometimes the only people that will understand you, if a friendship is able to be saved it is more than worth saving.

Thanks for reading!

-Abby.