Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my past and how I am now could affect my future. I am not always the nicest person. I find complete joy in making other peoples lives miserable. I enjoy picking fights because it makes me feel powerful, but when I’m alone I feel weak, for me there’s no balance in between. So, I’m challenging my self and trying new things to change my attitude towards others, and myself.
Today is day one, and this weekend I am fasting none-Christian music. So I will not be listening to Pentatnonix or Fall Out Boy today or tomorrow. I want to experiment and see how this affects my behavior over the weekend and hope it helps me to be more patient and less violent towards others and also to stop with all the self doubt and self blame for everything. Every few days I’ll probably challenge myself to do something more and do something else less. So this week I hope to pray for all of my friends, a different one everyday. I’m trying to think of other people more and stop focusing on myself. Because even when I’m upset I’m still only thinking of myself and maybe as I move forward in this experiment I’ll be able to think of myself less and others more.