Not ready to grow up

This may or may not be the cheesiest thing I’ve ever post, which I wasn’t even sure was possible.

I’ve been thinking through my childhood. And wow was it a good one! I’ve been thinking a lot, I mean I’m in highschool now and I need to start planning for my future, but there’s a road block. I don’t want to grow up. I miss it. I feel like I’ve lost so much since then. I mean while I’ve been growing up in the past few years people have died, friends have left, people move, I changed. I mean sure growing up is great, it’s just harder then I thought it would be. I feel like I’ve missed out on things I could have learned, and done. And now it’s too late and those chances are gone.

I mean I’m homeschooled and I see the perks in that, but I also see what I’m missing out on. I feel a lot of times if I knew then what a know now, I would have worked just a little harder at dancing. I mean there are things I’m afraid to do now that if I had of tried before I might not be scared to do.

Not to mention that growing up apparently cost money. I get stressed out over things now school, boys, friends, events. Everything I mean I get stressed out over small things.I also feel like the more I grow up, the more I realize people don’t think of me as a young adult. My parents still do things for me that I could do for myself, people discard my ideas and opinions because in their mind I’m still a child.

I’m beginning to understand the world and sometimes I really wish I didn’t. I feel like I’m not ready to grow up, I feel like other people feel like I’m not old enough to grow up yet. I’m not afraid of the world, I just miss the little protective bubble I had when I was little. And I really wish I could go back in time to the point where I began to grow up and correct things that I’ve done, things I know I’ll probably regret not fixing later.

Before I was so excited to grow up, now I wish I never had to.

Thanks for reading!

-Abby.

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3 thoughts on “Not ready to grow up

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